What to do, what to do
by Selestria
Summary: An insane story, for my insane mind.Its a bit of gabby bashing, okay maybe a lot of gabby bashing. XA and JG
1. Default Chapter

* Alright this another story I dug up from my past, yet I don't remember when I wrote it. It's pretty funny. It introduces two new characters. It goes into my depths of insanity. Hope you are amused by it.*

It was a beautiful starlit night and every immortal and mortal were asleep. Except two gods, Hypnos and Morpheus. They both resembled young boys at night, but during the day while they slept, they looked like raggedy old men. "Here we go again," Hypnos sighed, "I do not understand what the big deal is. We spray powder on mortals and they drift off into to happy land. I'm sick of it, man. Tonight I'm going to do something, probably mess with a few mortals brains." He then left.

"Oh by the gods, I hope he doesn't damage any of them," Morpheus sighed and went back to work. 

Meanwhile Hypnos found two specimen to trouble with. One had raven dark hair and her skin reflected a tan color. The other mortal had short blonde hair and was drooling continuously. 'They look good enough, wonder what they are dreaming about?' He pondered. He firs touched the dark woman gently on her forehead. "Interesting, I had not known this to be Xena the legendary warrior princess," He whispered to himself and looked more into her dream. As he watched on he saw Ares, God of War, and Xena fighting intensely on a battlefield. "Hmm, some battle they got there. Wait one moment what is this?" At that very moment Xena had kicked Ares sword right out of his hands and smoothly strolled over to him and kissed him.

'Well that was interesting, I wonder what the blond is dreaming of?' He thought to himself. He walked over to the girl and gently touched her forehead. He then watched her and saw her writing on a scroll and conversing with a man who seemed like a complete idiot. "Ahh this is the famous bard Gabrielle," He whispered. Throughout the dream she could only write about how much an idiot Joxer was. As well as calling him an idiot aloud to the man sitting next to her. 'It seems that this man is Joxer, well then let me see if I can find him,' Hypnos thought to himself. He then left in search for the man named Joxer.

Hypnos then appeared next to Joxer, who was snoring annoyingly loud. "Okay now, let us see what you are dreaming of my little friend," He whispered. He then gently touches the top of Joxer's head. He then viewed his dream, which was mostly of himself and Gabrielle discussing politics and relationships. "So it seems he has a thing for little miss Gabrielle," Hypnos chuckled to himself, "I think I shall combine their dreams and see what happens." He said before he disappeared and reappeared in front of an alter that was placed in his temple.

He then creates two clouded mirrors that each displayed Gabrielle's dream and Joxer's dream. Hypnos then drags both mirrors together which makes a golden flash of sparks. At that moment a new dream has just begun. Hypnos then walks over to his comfortable arm chair and watches. The mirror shows Gabrielle sitting on stool next to a bar in a tavern. She is writing a story of Xena in her scroll. Then Joxer walks through the doors and takes a seat next to Gabrielle. "Joxer why are you always acting like an idiot?"

"Gabrielle why must you great me in such an ill tempered manner?" He asked her in a saddened tone.

"Cause, cause your Joxer that's why," She sighed in frustration.

"Why can't we have an intellectual conversation about something other than my pure stupidity?" He asked in a soft tone.

"Well I never really thought about it, but okay. So what you want to talk about?" She asked him.

"How about politics or Astrology maybe?" He asked shyly.

"How about no, umm what about poetry or literature?" She asked. Joxer looked at her and then the floor.

"Err, uh okay sounds good," He said smiling. He ordered a drink and kept a smirk on his face. From there a conversation stirred up which was full of useless information that no one knew and no one would have really cared. Hypnos had grown bored of the conversation and grew tired of watching them.

"Alright that's it I'm out of here!" Hypnos yelled in annoyance. "I'll go see what the mighty god of war is dreaming of." He then left and reappeared beside the bed of a sleeping god of war. Hypnos knew better than to touch Ares, because he knew his ass would be kicked to another universe if he did. So instead he used his mind to get to Ares subconscious. As Hypnos watched he noticed, and he noticed something. 'Amazing he has the same dream as Xena. This dream will be much more fun than the bard and the warrior wannabe,' He thought to himself. He then left and reappeared back at his alter.

He went to go check on the other dream he had been working on. "Damn she really is crazy for that dumbass," He said as Gabrielle and Joxer held hands, "Well whatever, better get back to business." He then created two more mirrors which had Ares dream and Xena's dream. He combines them together and the dream begins. 

"Well Xena, guess it's just you and me," Ares said seductively, "Just like old times huh."

"And just like old times I kick your ass," She replied. She then throws a dagger at him just before she attacks with her sword. He ducks the dagger and blocks her attack with his sword.

"Ohh feisty little thing aren't you," He said in his sexy voice.

"Oh, in your dreams," She replied before attacking him again. They continued this for a long time.

"Damn I can't believe they last this long," Hypnos said in amusement, "I wonder what's happening in the other dream?" He then walked over to the first dream he made and sat down on his comfy chair watched.

'God I think I'm in love with Joxer,' Gabrielle thought as see looked at him.

'Damn I think she's in love with me,' He thought with a frown, 'I have to get out of here!' 

"Joxer, I would really like it if we could go outside and see the stars together," She said with a sparkle in her eye.

'And I would really like to get away from you,' Joxer thought. "Oh that would be nice. Let's go then," He sighed. They then walked out of the tavern and found themselves in a gorgeous green field. They laid down on the ground and stared at the stars.

"Wow this dream is actually quite amusing," Hypnos said to himself. At that moment he heard interesting noises. It sounded like moaning noises. He thought that someone might have gotten hurt in the second dream, but when he heard someone scream, "OH GODS, ARES!" He definitely knew they were screwing (the process). Hypnos ran as fast as he could to the other screen, but sadly he missed it. He saw only Xena with child and Ares comforting her with soft words. "DAMN IT!" 


	2. chpter 2

* I now realize that hypnos is a god so he shouldn't be running around, but this seems more fun.* 

Hypnos yelled out in frustration, but he eventually went back to watching the first dream. "Joxer, Joxer?" Gabrielle yelled in confusion, "Joxer where are you?" Joxer was hiding behind a bush in the forest like a scarred bunny.

'Please by the gods don't let her find me,' He prayed to himself.

"OOh, nutbread," She said while picking it up and stuffing it in her mouth, "Joxer, oh there you are. Why are you hiding in the bush?" She asked in a mumble.

'OOOOh damn it all,' He yelled to himself. "Oh hi, Gabby. I thought we were playing hide and seek?" He said reassuringly, "Well, now its your turn."

"Oh okay, I'll hide and you go count," She said in a perky tone.

"Okay now, 1,2,3,4...," He said. Gabrielle then ran off south of the forest. 'This is my chance to run,' Joxer thought as he ran off in the opposite direction.

"Haha what an idiot, that girl is stupid," Hypnos laughed loudly. Then he stopped laughing when he heard a familiar noise. "Their at it again," Hypnos stood up from his chair and ran to the second dream. Before he got there he tripped on his own two feet. By the time he got there he missed them doing the process. In the mirror Xena was sleeping and was pregnant once again. "Damn it why can't I ever catch them," He said to himself sadly.

He sat down on a puffy pillow on the floor and watched more of the dream. Ares was outside with his six years old daughter. She had black hair and blue eyes and almost exactly like Xena. "You look and act just like your mother," Ares said lovingly.

"No I don't," The little girl said and gave him 'the look'.

"Especially her stubbornness," Ares said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean dad?" She asked defensively.

"You just proved my point little one," He said triumphantly.

"Wow she really does look like her mother," Hypnos said as he was dazzled by the resemblance. He then stood up and grabbed the mirror and the puffy pillow and sat down on his chair. He placed the mirror next to the other dream. He then made a bowl of popcorn and placed it has lap. "Yummy," he said while focusing on the first dream.

"Joxer, why do I get the feeling that you are avoiding me?" Gabrielle said.

"What you say, Gabby?" Joxer asked while smiling at a barmaid.

"Joxer!" She yelled in frustration. Joxer looked at her in confusion. He couldn't take it anymore. So, he decided to just ask her.

"Gabrielle do you like me?" He asked her.

"What do you mean, Joxer?" Gabrielle asked. Her face became a light pink and she got nervous from the way he was looking at her.

"It's just a question." Joxer told her rudely. 

'If I tell him Ilove him then he'll hold me in his arms and we'd live happily ever after and okay,' She thought to herself. "Joxer I don't like you," She said proudly.

'Thank the gods,' He sighed to himself. And he formed a bit of a smirk when she told him.

"I love you," she told him, she was proud of herself when she said it.

'God damn it,' he yelled inside. "Gabrielle I have to go," Joxer told her before he left the tavern. 

"Why?" Gabrielle cried, "Don't you love me?"

"You may never know Gab, you may never know," He said while walking off in the direction the road led. Gabrielle then sat back down in the tavern and cried for an hour an a half.

"Damn this is really starting to drag," Hypnos said to himself. He turned to see what Ares and Xena were up to. The only that they were doing was training up their kids. The girl got bigger and they had a boy . Hypnos felt extremely bored because the two dreams were really dragging on. Plus he had finished his popcorn. "Hmm I wonder?" Hypnos asked himself.

Hypnos got off his chair and ran over the alter. He raised his hands and slammed his two fists together. That caused the two mirrors to slam into each other. It made a big explosion and both broke and spilled on the floor. "OOOH SHIT!" At that moment Ares, Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer woke up screaming. 

"Damn at least that was a dream," Ares whispered to himself and went back to sleep.

"Ahh, What the hell was that," Joxer yelled, "I would never give up a change to date Gabrielle." He then went back to sleep.

"Are you alright Gabrielle?" Xena asked her companion genuinely.

"Yeah I just got a bit spooked that's all, I'm fine now," Gabrielle whispered, "How about you?"

"I'm fine, let's try to get some sleep," She said with a smirk on her.

"Alright I'll try to," She said softly. Then they both slowly went to sleep.

At that moment Hypnos found his way back into the sleeping chambers. Not looking up at Morpheus, who was pretty calm at what happened. Hypnos laid on the cushions that surrounded the large mirror like room.

"So, I presume you screwed up again?" Morphues asked in a suave tone.

"Yes I did," Hypnos sighed as he looked up at he ceiling. Which was one huge mirror. Morpheus then finished what he was doing and sat down next to him.

"I saw the whole thing you know, I knew you were bound to screw up somehow," He calmly said. Hypnos just stared at the ceiling in frustration. "So did you see Ares and Xena doing it?" 

Disclaimer: No person's sanity/ Intelligence was left unharmed during the production of this fanfic. 


End file.
